Sermon for Lent 4 -- Sleeper, awake!

Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.  Sleeper, awake!

I don’t know about you, but the hectic busyness of my days can feel an awful lot like darkness.  Day to day, I feel the end of my day closing in on me, feeling overwhelmed by the thought that there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  Often I have barely gotten out of bed before I have claimed a gospel of scarcity, that there isn’t enough.  When people ask how I am, my first response is usually “PHEW, I am busy!” along with a laundry list of all the reasons why my life is busy.  And, to be fair, I’m at least trying to be honest -- I do feel busy.

But, the more and more I think about it, this feels an awful lot like moving through my life in a sleep state.  But not the good kind of sleep state.  More like the sleep state where you’re clearly in a bad dream, but you don’t know how to wake yourself up.  

Or, the sleep state when you’ve just woken up, clearly didn’t get enough sleep, and are dreading the day before you that you obviously needed more sleep to accomplish happily.  

I often find myself driving across town and barely being aware of the actions I’ve made to get there.  Waking up out of a trance, realizing I’ve driven home instead of to work, or to work instead of home.  I distinctly remember leaving the ESC one night and mind-driving home, but finding myself parked in the St. Paul’s church office parking lot, staring at my steering wheel, wondering what had happened.  I remember thinking “Yep, it’s time to go to bed.  If I’m trying to clock in to work at 9 PM for anything other than a pastoral emergency, I’ve lost my mind.”

And the busyness of the days can feel like that - it can feel like losing my mind.  Maybe more so, it can feel like losing my mind, body, and soul.  

As I mind-drive to places I don’t need to be, I also forego the long walks I should really be taking for my cardiovascular and mental health.  And in light of letting go of my mind, and letting go of my body, I’ve chosen whether I like it or not to let go of a little piece of my soul.  Because they are all connected, they are all important, and when I let busy take over, I let my schedule define my health, rather than my health define my schedule.

This Tuesday, Father Chuck Treadwell, rector of St. Paul’s, came by the ESC and talked to us about what it means to be embodied.  He talked about how the body is good, but that it can still be a challenge to live in one, because our bodies are broken.  He specifically encouraged us to figure out what it means to be whole, and he encouraged us to embrace wholeness over perfection.  These are ways in which we can cultivate a spiritual health, that inevitably affects our mental and physical health as well.

And, in light of today’s reading from Ephesians, I would add a few things.  I think, first, we have to wake up.  Sleeper, awake!  We are living in a trance.  I am living in a trance for sure.  And, were that trance a meditative state in which I was so lost in worshipping God that I mindlessly drove to work instead of home, that would be one thing.  

But I didn’t end up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was worshipping.  I ended up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was lost.  I ended up there because I didn’t let God direct my movements at all.  I ended up there because I let the worship of busy disconnect me from my consciousness so much that I didn’t know where I was going.

And, more so, when I listen to God, and when I worship, and when I practice finding wholeness, I know where I’m going because I’m letting God do the driving.  I’m not letting the stress, worry, and worship of busy direct me -- I’m letting God direct me.

Seeking out wholeness in our lives helps us wake up; it shines light into the darkness, so that the path that God has set out for us is illumined for us to follow.  We don’t worship busy, we worship God.  And we know how to worship God, because we’re taking the necessary time to ask God to drive.

So sleeper, awake!  Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  Wake up out of the scarcity that tells you there isn’t enough time.  Wake up out of the fear that you need to do more.  Wake up out of the life that tells you that you can do it alone.

The way to wake up, is to rest.  The way to let go of there not being enough time is to give up some of your time to the Lord.  The way to wake up out of the fear that you need to do more is to add to your schedule time for spiritual practices that connect you to mind/body/soul.  The way to wake up out of the life that tells you you can do it alone is to ask others for help.  

When we take on worship, we inherently let go, because we ask God to come in and take over the areas of our lives that we have a white knuckle grasp on.

So, today I want to encourage you to try to find a time to do something that makes you feel connected to your mind, body, and soul.  Many of you listed specific things when Father Chuck was here.  Remember what that thing was, and do it soon.  And if you weren’t there, ask yourself what things that you do make you feel whole, and do one in the next week.

At first, you will likely spend the whole time thinking about all the things that are a better use of your time.  And that’s okay.  It’s going to happen so just accept it.  But, this act of trying to connect to your mind/body/soul -- this attempt to find a time to rest in the presence of God -- it’s a practice.  Practices develop over time.  You have to keep doing them.  If the first time you spend the whole time worrying about work and family, don’t be discouraged.  

Try it again in a couple of days.  It will still be challenging, but it might also get better.  Then, do it again.  Fight the worship of busy, and embrace the worship of God. 

Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.  Live as children of the light.  Sleeper, awake!

Sermon for Lent 3 -- Hope does not disappoint.

LENT 3: Hope Does Not Disappoint

In today’s reading from Romans, we read that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  We are encouraged by Paul to boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.  We are told to boast in our sufferings.  And we are told that hope does not disappoint us.

This past Tuesday, over dinner we watched Brene Brown’s two TED talks and discussed how shame gives us a fear of disconnection, while recognizing that our universal desire as humans is to be connected to one another.  Brene explains that in order for us to experience connection, we must disarm shame with vulnerability.  When we engage in this, we tell the story of who we are -- we are courageous.  This courage can be called wholeheartedness.  

The beauty of our conversation at the ESC is that while we talked about vulnerability, we were vulnerable.  As we learned what courage is, we responded by telling our stories.  As we talked about shame, we disarmed it by being vulnerable with one another.  What we learned from Brene, we practiced.  I can’t think of a more beautiful way to be a Christian community than to practice what we learn.  And for that, thanks be to God.

When we hear that we must boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God, I want us to also remember to boast in the glory of God that is shown through us sharing the story of who we are.  When we hear that we are to boast in our sufferings, I want us to hear that we boast in our sufferings because our sufferings are part of the truth of who we are.  And nothing to be ashamed of.

When we hear that hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us, I want us to hear that the Holy Spirit poured into our hearts is our identity.  It is our story.  It is the voice we listen to - it is the voice that says “we are enough.”

When we hear that we will be loved, we will be saved, we have been reconciled, it seems we often imagine that God will protect us.  But God’s protection doesn’t seem to look like freedom from suffering.  Paul’s life shows us that.  But it does seem to look like the gift of the authentic, real joyful lives we lead when we are courageous - when we are vulnerable - when we dare greatly.

Sufferings can lead us into depression, anxiety, and even loss of faith.  But what does the Scripture say?  It says that suffering is met, in God’s time, with hope.  And hope does not disappoint us.  It doesn’t, however, say that suffering is easy to deal with in this life.  It also doesn’t say that suffering makes you weak.  Instead, I believe it says that suffering makes you human.  Suffering makes you, one of us.  Our sufferings are part of our stories.  Part of our identities.  Our sufferings are never meant to be felt alone.  We feel them together - we tell our stories together - and hope springs out of that, and hope does not disappoint.

Suffering is messy.  Suffering never has a bow tied on it.  And while we believe that hope does meet us, we don’t know when, and we don’t know what it will look like.

And that’s why we don’t force hope onto anyone.  And we don’t rush others into healing.  We just listen to them tell the story of who they are, with their whole hearts, and we tell our own stories.  And when they suffer, we meet them where they are.  And when we suffer, we believe we will be met there.  We meet each other in the brokenness, rather than selling one another a quick fix.

And together - not alone - we wait for that hope we believe in, believing that our suffering has given us the endurance to be patient.  And we wait, believing that hope will not disappoint.

Faith & Mental Health: A Lenten Program for 2014

Friends,

I’m very excited that we are doing a Lenten series this year at the Episcopal Student Center, in which we will discuss Faith & Mental Health.  Our hope with this program is to focus our attention and worship on the importance of promoting awareness of mental illness, reducing the stigma of mental illness, and discussing how we are called as Christians to show compassion to those suffering from mental illness.  I want to thank Bradley Varnell and April Fleming for their hard work on this.  

We kicked off this program Sunday, March which was the second Sunday of Lent.  For our Sunday Eucharistic services, April and Bradley have written Prayers of the People specific to the needs, concerns, and prayers of both those dealing with mental illnesses and those who are not.  We are also prayerfully attentive to those who are thinking and praying about this for the first time.  On Tuesdays, we are both welcoming guests and watching and discussing TED talks together.  We will welcome Rabbi Gordon Fuller and Father Chuck Treadwell, which will offer perspectives both inside and outside the Christian faith.  

This past Tuesday, over dinner we watched Brene Brown’s two TED talks and discussed how shame gives us a fear of disconnection, while recognizing that our universal desire as humans is to be connected to one another.  Brene explains that in order for us to experience connection, we must disarm shame with vulnerability.  When we engage in this, we tell the story of who we are -- we are courageous.  This courage can be called wholeheartedness.  

The beauty of our conversation at the ESC is that while we talked about vulnerability, we were vulnerable.  As we learned what courage is, we responded by telling our stories.  As we talked about shame, we disarmed it by being vulnerable with one another.  What we learned from Brene, we practiced.  I can’t think of a more beautiful way to be a Christian community than to practice what we learn.  And for that, thanks be to God.

This topic is especially touching to me as a person who deals with an anxiety disorder.  I’m thankful to be serving a ministry with students who are passionate about showing love to all people, regardless of where they are in their mental health journey.  I want to invite you to join us on this journey, knowing that we don’t come to share what’s right, what’s wrong, or how we can offer quick fixes to life’s messiness.  Instead, we go on this journey to share who we are, believing that our greatest gift is grace and that our identity is found in Christ.  Because our identity is found in Christ, we want to see Christ in the stranger, and offer love.

College students are invited join us this Sunday, as we continue this amazing program!  We have dinner and Eucharist, starting at 7:00 at 1712 S. 10th St.  We would love to have you.  

Blessings,

The Rev. Erin Jean Warde

October at the ESC!

Much has been going on in the life of the ESC this month, yet very little has been blogged.

(ESC students Megan Talley, Christine Brunson, Lizz Haddad, Melissa Hollis, Eliza Fackler, and Laura Case, at Koffee Kupp in Hico, TX!)

We took a day trip for Baylor's Fall Break to Hico, TX and Dublin, TX, where we had lunch, delicious pies, visited small shops, and went to the Old Doc's Soda Shop!

(Bishop Andy Doyle with ESC students Christine Brunson, Lizz Haddad, Laura Case, and ESC campus chaplain Erin Jean Warde.)

On Wednesday, October 24th the Bishop of the Diocese of Texas, Andy Doyle, came to visit St. Paul's Episcopal Church, and the pictured students were present to listen to the Bishop's words regarding stewardship.
 
On October 30, along with our regularly scheduled ESC activities of dinner and Eucharist, we had a Halloween party, which included students (and the priest) dressed up in costume for all the festivities!

This has been, in essence, October of the ESC!  We continue with our programs of dinner, fellowship, and Compline on Sundays, dinner and Eucharist on Tuesdays, and our book study on Thursdays.  All events begin at 7 at the ESC house!

What does our offering look like? Talking stewardship in a college ministry community

Last night, at our Eucharistic service during the sermon time we talked about some ideas I have for what we, as an ESC, can do during stewardship season, but there weren't many people so I want to talk about it here. 

We are entering a season in my church, and in many churches of mainline denominations—Stewardship season.  The church is full of talks about giving a tithe, to capital campaigns, to stewardship speakers and dinners… And that is all right and good for the parish life.  A parish builds their budget off of these pledges, so monetary stewardship is very important to the parish in that it defines how the parish will be able to serve the church community and the surrounding community in the coming year.  There are certain necessary structures in place in churches that make stewardship campaigns incredibly important, spiritually fulfilling, and right and good.

But amidst all this talk as a college chaplain I have to ask—where does that leave the student ministry?  The student ministry does NOT run off of pledges.  Not to mention, when I was in college, there was no money in my bank account.  If I HAD paychecks, I was living between them, and those paychecks were work study, which meant I probably could have sued my university for unfair labor laws or something.  That’s why, of course, I don’t show up to the ESC bearing pledge cards.  So, deep breaths—I’m not hitting you up for money.

When I talk about this, I almost want to say: pressure’s off, I’m not hitting you up for money.  But, that’s not accurate.  The pressure isn’t off, the pressure’s different.  We are still called by God to make an offering.  But, since we don’t do pledge cards, and we don’t do capital campaigns, the question for this ministry that we need to keep asking ourselves is: 

What does our offering look like? 

I do think that sometimes, it looks like money.  And I honor that—and that won’t be turned down here.  Money in that offering plate is money that will be invested in serving the people of Waco.  That said, I was in college once and I feel like I know the state of finances for the majority of college students, so stewardship will not be boiled down to money.

I also think it looks like time.  Right now I’m anxiously awaiting news back from the Ramps & Rails group in Waco, so that maybe we can help serve a family who needs work done on their house.  In addition, I think we give of our time to volunteer in other endeavors, and that that is accepted as an offering to God and transformed into holy time.

Also?  You’re probably actually already giving an offering in some way, shape, or form—you just may or may not recognize it as such.  So, maybe our task there is identifying what our offering already is.

By being a people who are called to be like Jesus, we are called to a sacrificial life.  Christ was placed on the cross and I challenge you to place yourself on the altar.  Every time we meet here, we share the gifts of bread and wine.  In my church—St. Paul’s— offering plates with checks and cash and change are brought forward with the bread and wine and, taking them, the other priest and I turn to the altar, hold these gifts up, and say—“All things come of thee O Lord, and of thine own have we given thee.”

In other words: All things are given to us by you, O Lord—and of our own lives, and of our own time, and of our own hearts have we given these gifts back to you, out of love and adoration.  We believe that you will transform this simple bread and simple wine into the body and blood of Christ, and we believe that you will transform this simple prayer into a life of worship, this canned good into a life of service, and this dollar bill into a healthy church.

So, starting last night, when we have the offertory sentence, gifts will be brought up.  I don’t care if the offering plate comes up looking empty—I expect it to look that way sometimes—but I expect it to be full with our lives and our cares and our desires.

Starting next week, I challenge you to put something into the plate.  If you want to bring in a canned good, put it in the plate—I’ll make sure it goes to someone who can use it.  If you need to offer a concern or a worry, write it on a sheet of paper and I’ll take it home and pray about it.  If you feel called to give money, then certainly do and I’ll make sure it gets donated to a good cause.  If you garden, bring in some of your harvest.  If you like to write, write a short story and put it in the plate and I’ll read it later and thank God for it.

Whatever it is that God is doing in your life—offer it to God.  As a community, let's offer our gifts.  Let’s thank God for them.  And let’s offer our selves, our souls, and our bodies on the altar.  

This is, of course, the beginning of a conversation.  So let's start giving and talking.

Ramps & Rails at St. Paul's partners with the ESC in Waco for service projects

Friends, I'm excited to say that I have had some conversations with the parishioner at St. Paul's who coordinates Ramps & Rails so that we can participate in a service project with them in Waco!  We have put out a note in a few of the church publications asking for people who need work done on their houses to let us know.  For a while now as a ministry we have talked about how to reach out to the Waco community, and this will be one way!  This is one event, and is not exhaustive of what we can do, so if you know of other organizations and causes that could use our time, talent, and treasure, please let me know so we can discern what we can do to help serve others through the endeavors of the organizations and causes.

Does your church have a service project that the ESC could help with?  If so, please contact me at erinjean@stpaulswaco.org so we can publicize that event and offer some ESC support!

The ESC supports Taize Evening Prayer at St. Paul's

This Sunday our usual evening activities (Compline, dinner, and table talks) will be replaced with the opportunity to experience Taize Evening Prayer.  Taize worship comes from the Taize community, which is an ecumenical monastic community from France.  This is a uniquely beautiful worship style, and one that is not common to the Episcopal Student Center.  We're excited about experiencing this as a college ministry.

After this Taize Evening Prayer service, we will be going to La Fiesta on Franklin for dinner, with ESC picking up the bill.  On the 30th, part of the proceeds from the day will go to help the St. Paul's Episcopal Day School, so we're dining for a good cause. 

I'm really looking forward to worshiping with y'all in a new way! 

Also, special thanks to Megan Talley, Cameron Talley, Lizz Haddad, Laura Case, and any others who are helping put this together!  My apologies to anyone I left off the list.  I'm so excited about this opportunity and thankful for your hard work!