Sermon for Lent 4 -- Sleeper, awake!

Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.  Sleeper, awake!

I don’t know about you, but the hectic busyness of my days can feel an awful lot like darkness.  Day to day, I feel the end of my day closing in on me, feeling overwhelmed by the thought that there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  Often I have barely gotten out of bed before I have claimed a gospel of scarcity, that there isn’t enough.  When people ask how I am, my first response is usually “PHEW, I am busy!” along with a laundry list of all the reasons why my life is busy.  And, to be fair, I’m at least trying to be honest -- I do feel busy.

But, the more and more I think about it, this feels an awful lot like moving through my life in a sleep state.  But not the good kind of sleep state.  More like the sleep state where you’re clearly in a bad dream, but you don’t know how to wake yourself up.  

Or, the sleep state when you’ve just woken up, clearly didn’t get enough sleep, and are dreading the day before you that you obviously needed more sleep to accomplish happily.  

I often find myself driving across town and barely being aware of the actions I’ve made to get there.  Waking up out of a trance, realizing I’ve driven home instead of to work, or to work instead of home.  I distinctly remember leaving the ESC one night and mind-driving home, but finding myself parked in the St. Paul’s church office parking lot, staring at my steering wheel, wondering what had happened.  I remember thinking “Yep, it’s time to go to bed.  If I’m trying to clock in to work at 9 PM for anything other than a pastoral emergency, I’ve lost my mind.”

And the busyness of the days can feel like that - it can feel like losing my mind.  Maybe more so, it can feel like losing my mind, body, and soul.  

As I mind-drive to places I don’t need to be, I also forego the long walks I should really be taking for my cardiovascular and mental health.  And in light of letting go of my mind, and letting go of my body, I’ve chosen whether I like it or not to let go of a little piece of my soul.  Because they are all connected, they are all important, and when I let busy take over, I let my schedule define my health, rather than my health define my schedule.

This Tuesday, Father Chuck Treadwell, rector of St. Paul’s, came by the ESC and talked to us about what it means to be embodied.  He talked about how the body is good, but that it can still be a challenge to live in one, because our bodies are broken.  He specifically encouraged us to figure out what it means to be whole, and he encouraged us to embrace wholeness over perfection.  These are ways in which we can cultivate a spiritual health, that inevitably affects our mental and physical health as well.

And, in light of today’s reading from Ephesians, I would add a few things.  I think, first, we have to wake up.  Sleeper, awake!  We are living in a trance.  I am living in a trance for sure.  And, were that trance a meditative state in which I was so lost in worshipping God that I mindlessly drove to work instead of home, that would be one thing.  

But I didn’t end up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was worshipping.  I ended up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was lost.  I ended up there because I didn’t let God direct my movements at all.  I ended up there because I let the worship of busy disconnect me from my consciousness so much that I didn’t know where I was going.

And, more so, when I listen to God, and when I worship, and when I practice finding wholeness, I know where I’m going because I’m letting God do the driving.  I’m not letting the stress, worry, and worship of busy direct me -- I’m letting God direct me.

Seeking out wholeness in our lives helps us wake up; it shines light into the darkness, so that the path that God has set out for us is illumined for us to follow.  We don’t worship busy, we worship God.  And we know how to worship God, because we’re taking the necessary time to ask God to drive.

So sleeper, awake!  Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  Wake up out of the scarcity that tells you there isn’t enough time.  Wake up out of the fear that you need to do more.  Wake up out of the life that tells you that you can do it alone.

The way to wake up, is to rest.  The way to let go of there not being enough time is to give up some of your time to the Lord.  The way to wake up out of the fear that you need to do more is to add to your schedule time for spiritual practices that connect you to mind/body/soul.  The way to wake up out of the life that tells you you can do it alone is to ask others for help.  

When we take on worship, we inherently let go, because we ask God to come in and take over the areas of our lives that we have a white knuckle grasp on.

So, today I want to encourage you to try to find a time to do something that makes you feel connected to your mind, body, and soul.  Many of you listed specific things when Father Chuck was here.  Remember what that thing was, and do it soon.  And if you weren’t there, ask yourself what things that you do make you feel whole, and do one in the next week.

At first, you will likely spend the whole time thinking about all the things that are a better use of your time.  And that’s okay.  It’s going to happen so just accept it.  But, this act of trying to connect to your mind/body/soul -- this attempt to find a time to rest in the presence of God -- it’s a practice.  Practices develop over time.  You have to keep doing them.  If the first time you spend the whole time worrying about work and family, don’t be discouraged.  

Try it again in a couple of days.  It will still be challenging, but it might also get better.  Then, do it again.  Fight the worship of busy, and embrace the worship of God. 

Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.  Live as children of the light.  Sleeper, awake!

Sermon for Lent 3 -- Hope does not disappoint.

LENT 3: Hope Does Not Disappoint

In today’s reading from Romans, we read that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  We are encouraged by Paul to boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.  We are told to boast in our sufferings.  And we are told that hope does not disappoint us.

This past Tuesday, over dinner we watched Brene Brown’s two TED talks and discussed how shame gives us a fear of disconnection, while recognizing that our universal desire as humans is to be connected to one another.  Brene explains that in order for us to experience connection, we must disarm shame with vulnerability.  When we engage in this, we tell the story of who we are -- we are courageous.  This courage can be called wholeheartedness.  

The beauty of our conversation at the ESC is that while we talked about vulnerability, we were vulnerable.  As we learned what courage is, we responded by telling our stories.  As we talked about shame, we disarmed it by being vulnerable with one another.  What we learned from Brene, we practiced.  I can’t think of a more beautiful way to be a Christian community than to practice what we learn.  And for that, thanks be to God.

When we hear that we must boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God, I want us to also remember to boast in the glory of God that is shown through us sharing the story of who we are.  When we hear that we are to boast in our sufferings, I want us to hear that we boast in our sufferings because our sufferings are part of the truth of who we are.  And nothing to be ashamed of.

When we hear that hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us, I want us to hear that the Holy Spirit poured into our hearts is our identity.  It is our story.  It is the voice we listen to - it is the voice that says “we are enough.”

When we hear that we will be loved, we will be saved, we have been reconciled, it seems we often imagine that God will protect us.  But God’s protection doesn’t seem to look like freedom from suffering.  Paul’s life shows us that.  But it does seem to look like the gift of the authentic, real joyful lives we lead when we are courageous - when we are vulnerable - when we dare greatly.

Sufferings can lead us into depression, anxiety, and even loss of faith.  But what does the Scripture say?  It says that suffering is met, in God’s time, with hope.  And hope does not disappoint us.  It doesn’t, however, say that suffering is easy to deal with in this life.  It also doesn’t say that suffering makes you weak.  Instead, I believe it says that suffering makes you human.  Suffering makes you, one of us.  Our sufferings are part of our stories.  Part of our identities.  Our sufferings are never meant to be felt alone.  We feel them together - we tell our stories together - and hope springs out of that, and hope does not disappoint.

Suffering is messy.  Suffering never has a bow tied on it.  And while we believe that hope does meet us, we don’t know when, and we don’t know what it will look like.

And that’s why we don’t force hope onto anyone.  And we don’t rush others into healing.  We just listen to them tell the story of who they are, with their whole hearts, and we tell our own stories.  And when they suffer, we meet them where they are.  And when we suffer, we believe we will be met there.  We meet each other in the brokenness, rather than selling one another a quick fix.

And together - not alone - we wait for that hope we believe in, believing that our suffering has given us the endurance to be patient.  And we wait, believing that hope will not disappoint.

Faith & Mental Health: A Lenten Program for 2014

Friends,

I’m very excited that we are doing a Lenten series this year at the Episcopal Student Center, in which we will discuss Faith & Mental Health.  Our hope with this program is to focus our attention and worship on the importance of promoting awareness of mental illness, reducing the stigma of mental illness, and discussing how we are called as Christians to show compassion to those suffering from mental illness.  I want to thank Bradley Varnell and April Fleming for their hard work on this.  

We kicked off this program Sunday, March which was the second Sunday of Lent.  For our Sunday Eucharistic services, April and Bradley have written Prayers of the People specific to the needs, concerns, and prayers of both those dealing with mental illnesses and those who are not.  We are also prayerfully attentive to those who are thinking and praying about this for the first time.  On Tuesdays, we are both welcoming guests and watching and discussing TED talks together.  We will welcome Rabbi Gordon Fuller and Father Chuck Treadwell, which will offer perspectives both inside and outside the Christian faith.  

This past Tuesday, over dinner we watched Brene Brown’s two TED talks and discussed how shame gives us a fear of disconnection, while recognizing that our universal desire as humans is to be connected to one another.  Brene explains that in order for us to experience connection, we must disarm shame with vulnerability.  When we engage in this, we tell the story of who we are -- we are courageous.  This courage can be called wholeheartedness.  

The beauty of our conversation at the ESC is that while we talked about vulnerability, we were vulnerable.  As we learned what courage is, we responded by telling our stories.  As we talked about shame, we disarmed it by being vulnerable with one another.  What we learned from Brene, we practiced.  I can’t think of a more beautiful way to be a Christian community than to practice what we learn.  And for that, thanks be to God.

This topic is especially touching to me as a person who deals with an anxiety disorder.  I’m thankful to be serving a ministry with students who are passionate about showing love to all people, regardless of where they are in their mental health journey.  I want to invite you to join us on this journey, knowing that we don’t come to share what’s right, what’s wrong, or how we can offer quick fixes to life’s messiness.  Instead, we go on this journey to share who we are, believing that our greatest gift is grace and that our identity is found in Christ.  Because our identity is found in Christ, we want to see Christ in the stranger, and offer love.

College students are invited join us this Sunday, as we continue this amazing program!  We have dinner and Eucharist, starting at 7:00 at 1712 S. 10th St.  We would love to have you.  

Blessings,

The Rev. Erin Jean Warde