Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Sleeper, awake!
I don’t know about you, but the hectic busyness of my days can feel an awful lot like darkness. Day to day, I feel the end of my day closing in on me, feeling overwhelmed by the thought that there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Often I have barely gotten out of bed before I have claimed a gospel of scarcity, that there isn’t enough. When people ask how I am, my first response is usually “PHEW, I am busy!” along with a laundry list of all the reasons why my life is busy. And, to be fair, I’m at least trying to be honest -- I do feel busy.
But, the more and more I think about it, this feels an awful lot like moving through my life in a sleep state. But not the good kind of sleep state. More like the sleep state where you’re clearly in a bad dream, but you don’t know how to wake yourself up.
Or, the sleep state when you’ve just woken up, clearly didn’t get enough sleep, and are dreading the day before you that you obviously needed more sleep to accomplish happily.
I often find myself driving across town and barely being aware of the actions I’ve made to get there. Waking up out of a trance, realizing I’ve driven home instead of to work, or to work instead of home. I distinctly remember leaving the ESC one night and mind-driving home, but finding myself parked in the St. Paul’s church office parking lot, staring at my steering wheel, wondering what had happened. I remember thinking “Yep, it’s time to go to bed. If I’m trying to clock in to work at 9 PM for anything other than a pastoral emergency, I’ve lost my mind.”
And the busyness of the days can feel like that - it can feel like losing my mind. Maybe more so, it can feel like losing my mind, body, and soul.
As I mind-drive to places I don’t need to be, I also forego the long walks I should really be taking for my cardiovascular and mental health. And in light of letting go of my mind, and letting go of my body, I’ve chosen whether I like it or not to let go of a little piece of my soul. Because they are all connected, they are all important, and when I let busy take over, I let my schedule define my health, rather than my health define my schedule.
This Tuesday, Father Chuck Treadwell, rector of St. Paul’s, came by the ESC and talked to us about what it means to be embodied. He talked about how the body is good, but that it can still be a challenge to live in one, because our bodies are broken. He specifically encouraged us to figure out what it means to be whole, and he encouraged us to embrace wholeness over perfection. These are ways in which we can cultivate a spiritual health, that inevitably affects our mental and physical health as well.
And, in light of today’s reading from Ephesians, I would add a few things. I think, first, we have to wake up. Sleeper, awake! We are living in a trance. I am living in a trance for sure. And, were that trance a meditative state in which I was so lost in worshipping God that I mindlessly drove to work instead of home, that would be one thing.
But I didn’t end up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was worshipping. I ended up in the St. Paul’s parking lot at 9 PM because I was lost. I ended up there because I didn’t let God direct my movements at all. I ended up there because I let the worship of busy disconnect me from my consciousness so much that I didn’t know where I was going.
And, more so, when I listen to God, and when I worship, and when I practice finding wholeness, I know where I’m going because I’m letting God do the driving. I’m not letting the stress, worry, and worship of busy direct me -- I’m letting God direct me.
Seeking out wholeness in our lives helps us wake up; it shines light into the darkness, so that the path that God has set out for us is illumined for us to follow. We don’t worship busy, we worship God. And we know how to worship God, because we’re taking the necessary time to ask God to drive.
So sleeper, awake! Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Wake up out of the scarcity that tells you there isn’t enough time. Wake up out of the fear that you need to do more. Wake up out of the life that tells you that you can do it alone.
The way to wake up, is to rest. The way to let go of there not being enough time is to give up some of your time to the Lord. The way to wake up out of the fear that you need to do more is to add to your schedule time for spiritual practices that connect you to mind/body/soul. The way to wake up out of the life that tells you you can do it alone is to ask others for help.
When we take on worship, we inherently let go, because we ask God to come in and take over the areas of our lives that we have a white knuckle grasp on.
So, today I want to encourage you to try to find a time to do something that makes you feel connected to your mind, body, and soul. Many of you listed specific things when Father Chuck was here. Remember what that thing was, and do it soon. And if you weren’t there, ask yourself what things that you do make you feel whole, and do one in the next week.
At first, you will likely spend the whole time thinking about all the things that are a better use of your time. And that’s okay. It’s going to happen so just accept it. But, this act of trying to connect to your mind/body/soul -- this attempt to find a time to rest in the presence of God -- it’s a practice. Practices develop over time. You have to keep doing them. If the first time you spend the whole time worrying about work and family, don’t be discouraged.
Try it again in a couple of days. It will still be challenging, but it might also get better. Then, do it again. Fight the worship of busy, and embrace the worship of God.
Once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of the light. Sleeper, awake!
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